26 Oct A shift
What mysteries are happening in the unseen world, in the world that matters most? How can those be known? Or can they?
One morning I got a call: ‘I don’t want to be here anymore!’. I answered: ‘Please, come’. She came fast. My small office was occupied with the reiki table, ready for the client later, so we sat in the kitchen and talked. ‘This kitchen is so ugly’, I thought, I have to find the time to improve it a bit. I don’t remember much from the conversation, but I know it was just the usual, and Anne was not foreign to these conversations; also, we made fun and laugh, before, in the presence of pain and sorrow and so we did now.
Only this time was different. Thoughts stopped, the whole planet stopped, time stopped and as far as I knew it was just me and her in the old kitchen…in perfection. The shift was clearer than clear. The Joy and laughter were taking over everything, everything, the kitchen, all of ourselves. I checked with Anne what she felt – she said, the same. We laughed, like cuckoos for a minute or so, checking each other with our eyes, to see if it is appropriate to go on laughing. It was so hard to stop…my conditioning, telling me to be ‘professional’ because this woman, an hour ago wanted to die, the conventional ‘professionalism’ was so, so hard to still keep, but I did manage to stop laughing and went on talking. It was like trying to prevent the biggest helium balloon from floating; getting back to comfort zone – talking!…how silly!
Soon after Anne left, I felt sorry and utterly stupid for trying so hard to stop the ‘helium balloon’… I promised myself never, ever to do that again, never reject such grace.