03 Oct Faith
2020 spring… immediately after the news the world is closing down
My living room, I have a guest. He’s telling me he was informed – for the next months all his expenses and some extra will be paid, almost his normal salary, without having to work, though. We are in UK, he has a comfortable flat to live in, also a welcoming mother with a big place. I know him long, I am at peace. He’s panicked, flustered, he spreads concerns around, like fireworks.
My brother videocalls. He lives in Italy, in a hotel room, making his daily money by selling things to shops. He has no friends there. He’s telling me Italian borders closed, so can’t get out, shops and hotels are closing, so there’s no way to earn or place to live, hence he will sleep outside, in parks. An instant flood of tears, I cannot stop them, all of a sudden, I talk and talk…this is surreal. He is surprised by my reaction, the peace he radiates, through screen, is time stopping, thought stopping. Words are coming out of him, slowly, while he is still confused by how I took it: ‘You are exaggerating. Concerned can be just someone without faith. I’m only telling you about these changes now because I might not call as often, I might not have a way to charge my phone’. Time stopping, thought stopping, peace and alignment is radiating out of him, like a wave, like snow settling in a snow ball.
Picture 3 people on a straight line: I’m on the couch, 1 meter on the phone my brother, 3 meters far my transitory guest, from where I sit, a clear view of both. It was like that. 5 seasons past since then and still with me, this image, it activates, sometimes, when someone’s saying ‘faith’.